Renfrews Rant: Fantasy Football Team?

By Chris Renfrew

18620_10151517773645620_680959291_nFootball –

Goalkeeper – Kofi Kingston
Left Back – Damien Sandow
Right Back – Cody Rhodes
Centre Back – Jack Swagger
Centre Back – Samoa Joe
Defensive Midfield – Finlay (c)
Left Midfield – Dolph Ziggler
Right Midfield – Shelton Benjamin
Attacking Midfield – Chris Jericho
Centre Forward – CM Punk
Centre Forward – Randy Orton


Centre Forward: Daniel Bryan
Centre Back – Sheamus
Centre Back – Drew McIntyre
Defensive Midfield – Wade Barrett
Attacking Midfield – The Miz

Manager: William Regal

You may or may not be aware but yours truely is a huge football fan. I love the beautiful game, not as much as wrestling cause footballs clearly fixed but I enjoy it none the less. Someone recently asked me on Twitter who I reckon from the wrestling world would make a good footballer. What a great idea! So Ive came up with my full starting eleven plus five subs for my team of current wrestlers who I made make up a football team with. Keep in mind I’m not sure if anyone can actually play the old soccer, my choices are based on their wrestling and physical attributes, so if Im playing someone on the wrong side because I don’t know their stronger foot, well you can piss off cause this isn’t meant to be taken seriously!:

Goalkeeper: Kofi Kingston

This for me was a fairly easy choice. To be a top keeper you have to have good leaping ability and Kingston has perhaps the greatest vertical leap pro wrestling has seen, he would be great in the sticks. He’s also fast on his feet so getting to stray balls in the box wouldn’t be too much of an issue and his leap would allow him to cover every corner of the net. On top of that he uses the thunder in paradise kick to great effect, so you knw he has power in those feet to kick the ball right up the park.

Left Back: Damien Sandow

Poise, pace and strength. All worthy attributes of a worthy left back, and that’s I’ve picked Sandow in this position. He has grace on his feet so I think ball control would be no problem but he also is big enough to ensure nobody would bully him off the ball. On top of that he would do a great job of winding the opposition up, which isn’t a bad thing at all.

Right Back: Cody Rhodes

Covering the other flank I have Sandow’s former partner Cody Rhodes. A lean, put together individual who has done a few long stints in rumbles so you know he has the stamina to run up and down the wing for the full 90 minutes. He uses his Disaster Kick to great effect which takes a lot of technique to get right, he would be able to translate that into some great long passes and crosses. In terms of dealing with pressure, his dad is The Dream and his brother Goldust, and he is a man in his own right not just living the shadows, he definitely has the character to deal with any pressure put his way.

Centre Back: Jack Swagger

The All American American is a pure athlete through and through. At a towering 6’7 and around 275 pounds, getting past this monster would not be an easy task for any striker. Again you know he has the stamina to keep up with the game for 90 minutes, add that to his size he would be dominant both on the ground and in the air.

Centre Back: Samoa Joe

Can you imagine… it’s a 50/50 ball, you’re charging towards it and challenging you is Samoa Joe, that would make even the most seasoned veterans shake in fear. A huge man with great agility, the fear factor alone of Joe would warrant a place in the heart of defence, he could also be a striking threat with his acrobatic enziguris.

Defensive Midfield: Finlay (captain)

The Captain of my team is the grizzled vet Finlay. Okay age is against him in football terms, but you could not get a more commanding captain than the fighting Irishman. He has the ability to help the younger ones but also the respect levels that the experience squad members would listen to him. On top of that he’s is as tough as week old Tesco Horse Lasagne and would control the midfield. Always consistent, Finlay is definite immediate choice for me.

Left Midfield: Dolph Ziggler

Left mid must be full of energy and stamina and be able to move non – stop for the whole game. There is no doubt in my mind Ziggler is the ideal man. Fast, crisp he literally can do it. He would be a threat making runs, passing and shooting. He also has a great vertical leap so challenging for balls in the air would be no issue. Confidence would not be an issue as the guy thinks he is perfection, who knows he may be right.

Right Midfield – Shelton Benjamin

As pure an athlete as wrestling has ever seen, Shelton shares similar credentials to Ziggler in terms of what he is capable of. Main difference is I feel Shelton would be harder to boss around the field and is as tough as they come. Again the vertical leap is something to marvel, making sure any team playing my eleven would need to keep the ball firmly on the carpet.

Attacking Midfield – Chris Jericho

The experience of Jericho is what gives him the shout here. Similar to Finlay, experience in midfield is key to a squads performance and that’s what Jericho would bring. Another guy who is fast on his feet as he is skilled. Well traveled and tough, Jericho wouldn’t be going to ground looking for free kicks, he would be a driving force and a great inspiration to the ones around him.

Centre Forward – CM Punk

The division one striker who has played his way up into the big leagues, and the fans love him for it! Having someone on the field the fans revere and get behind will always lift a team’s spirit, a Punk would do that. In terms of on the field, he is known for his kicks which I’m sure he would translate into shots at goal that would cause all sorts of trouble. Confidence is no issue and he wouldn’t hesitate to take anyone on or attempt to take the ball past. He also has that “Ian Wright” element about him in that you know he would be in the ears of defenders winding them up constantly.

Centre Forward – Randy Orton

Cold, calculated, precise, composed, strength, height and composure. Orton has all the makings of a top striker. There is no way he would get muscled off the ball at 6’5 and we all know how deadly that punt is! In front of goal he would be my main man, top goal scorer.


Centre Forward:
Daniel Bryan – He may be starting on the bench but he would be my super sub, the man that is brought on 60 minutes into the game to up the pace and cause the defense headaches, my very own Craig Bellamy type player.

Centre Back:
Sheamus – The Great White sounds like the type of nickname given to a solid take no prisoners defender, that’s exactly what big Sheamus would be.

Centre Back:
Drew McIntyre – See above with Sheamus in terms a solid centre back that wouldn’t let a soul through, not unscathed anyways.

Defensive midfield
Wade Barrett – My Finlay in training, at Finlays age 90 minutes would be a long shift, thats why Wade Barrett would be the guy ear marked to take his spot. A commanding force we know has leadership skills (Nexus anyone) and could boss a midfield around with great confidence.

Attacking Midfield
The Miz – A 12th hour pick, The Miz gets the shout cause you know he can take a ripping in the locker room on the chin and come back with a smile

There we are, my wrestling starting eleven with today’s stars a team a team based on strength, stamina and overall kicking ability. If you have some spare time on your hands, or have the opportunity to skive at college/work, give it a shot and see what you come up with. Football not your thing? Try it with Rugby, Baseball, Cricket, Crockett whatever, it’s all just a bit of fun.

Next week I will be doing the same again but with my Master (legends) Team.



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